Twitter me this

Journalists left and right are falling all over themselves trying to convince the public that Twitter is the best thing ever.

And they're so very wrong.

Reporters regard Twitter as the savior for the news business when, in fact, it's really no more than a narcissist's dream.

For the uninitiated, I should probably provide a quick primer before going any further. Twitter is a web-based platform that allows users to post 140-character updates, or "tweets," that others can follow on their computers, cell phones, or other mobile devices.

Unfortunately this Twitter mania is catching on. Politicians love it because it's a new toy that gives the impression that they're of the people instead of the elitists that they really are.

Just a few weeks back when President Obama addressed a joint session of Congress, a handful of our elected officials used the opportunity to do their own play-by-play via Twitter. Yes, instead of hanging on every word as the leader of the free world discussed the biggest economic crisis of our times, these politicians instead opted to text. Nice. I'm so glad to see our austere representatives are on the same level as a group of tweens at a Jonas Brothers concert.

Now I'm not saying that Twitter doesn't have its uses. I'm just saying that even with all of the amazing people I have in my life, not a single one of them is interesting enough to warrant a forum to keep me posted on their every move and thought throughout the day.

I think Twitter could be a very positive tool if used sparingly. For instance I think it would be helpful to keep people in the loop for important life events, especially when it's not practical to make a bunch of phone calls.

Example: "So-and-so is out of surgery and doctors are hopeful." Good use of Twitter.

"So-and-so's water broke and we're on our way to the hospital." Good use of Twitter.

"I am opening the ketchup bottle." Bad Twitter person!

Now some may accuse me of being a hypocrite because while I refuse to Twitter, I do update my status on Facebook. There is, however, one big difference between the two sites. Facebook is about more than just a status update; Twitter is only a status update.

Regrettably, it looks like Twitter is here to stay. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that it soon goes the way of the typewriter, telegraph, and cave paintings.

The secret of the Irish

This St. Patrick's Day I think everybody should just come clean and admit what we all already know: Nobody actually likes Irish food.

Americans go through this elaborate ruse every March. "Oh look, it's corned beef and cabbage," we say. "Yummy, I'll have the shepherd's pie." Just shut up. We all know you'd rather have pizza or a burger. And there's nowhere near enough Guinness or Bailey's in the world to make bangers and mash even look edible.

Please understand that I don't mean any harm to the wonderful country of Ireland. I love everything else about that country and enjoyed every second I spent there. The people are so friendly and the atmosphere is so relaxed. (Clearly I didn't spend any time in Northern Ireland.) It's just that the cuisine leaves a lot to be desired.

I only got to spend a few days in Ireland when I went in 2001 but I did my best to sample the local flavor. On our first night in Dublin we went to a traditional Irish pub and I ordered something called chicken boxty which the waiter said was common Irish dish. It was okay but certainly nothing special. It's sad but my best meal in all of Ireland came from Supermacs, an Irish version of McDonalds.

To be fair, I understand that St. Patrick's Day is more about the drinking than the eating. Still, it would still be nice to have something worth washing down with all that green beer.

This St. Paddy's Day I plan to stick to normal cuisine. My ridiculously gaudy shamrock socks will have to show my Irish pride for me.

Catch me if you can (and trust me, you can)

I've been doing something lately that I never thought I would do. I've been running. And when I say running, I mean without being chased.

Since the beginning of February I've been doing a program called Couch to 5K. As the name implies, it's designed to get you off the couch and ready to run a 5K. I just completely four weeks of the nine-week program and I'm hoping to run the Bloomin' 5k on May 17.

I haven't told many people about my training, mainly because I was afraid I would quit before I got too far. I'm not the most athletic person and moreover, I've never been a runner, even back in my field hockey days. But, for some reason, I felt this was something I should do. Maybe it had something to do with turning 30.

I'm actually pretty proud of myself for sticking with it. I'm a big fan of being able to check things off a list and this lets me do just that. There's only been one workout I couldn't finish -- the first one of week four -- and I went back and did it a few days later. It was a nice sense of accomplishment.

Unfortunately I haven't seen the same progress on the scale. I started back with Weight Watchers at the beginning of January and while I was able to lose about five pounds that month, I've only lost a pound a half since I started running. It's frustrating because I know I'm doing everything right. I just wish the scale would recognize that.

Still, I know I'm healthier and building my endurance. My legs are definitely stronger. I'll never be a fast runner -- an elephant could lap me -- but I'm okay with that. I don't mind if I don't finish a winner; I just want to finish.

Over the weekend I took Buddy and Snoopy for a walk around my parents' neighborhood. The loop is about a mile and a third around and I was practically dragging the dogs behind me by the time I reached the halfway point. It was nice not being the one dragged for once.

Welcoming the new

She may have been three weeks earlier than expected but I'm quite excited to welcome a new little friend into the world. Riley Rose was born on Monday to our good friends, Kristen and Nathan and we had the pleasure of meeting her, with her full head of Nathan-like hair, the very next day.

I wasn't exactly enthusiastic when I first learned that our favorite couple was expecting. It was more like a combination of shock and confusion and I didn't react too well. When Nathan first said Kristen was pregnant, I suppressed my initial urge to blurt out "On purpose?"

I wised up quickly enough and over the past few months have warmed to the concept of our friends with a baby. It helps that I have full confidence that Kristen and Nathan will be wonderful parents and will raise what I'm sure could be the world's most perfect child. But no pressure, of course.

After meeting Riley and seeing what a good baby she is, I'm starting to get excited about all of the things we'll be able to teach her. And we can use her as an excuse too. Instead of Rich and I looking silly adults when we go to the circus or the zoo, now we'll be able to take Riley because, well, that's what you do with kids. It's a win-win.

So welcome Riley, and congratulations to your parents. Please stay as sweet as you were in our hour together and do your best to minimize the stinky diapers. Thanks in advance.

The end of an era

My grandmother passed away a week ago today. Her death is the first loss I've suffered as an adult and I'm still trying to cope with it.

None of this was entirely unexpected. She was 93, after all. About a month ago, her doctor diagnosed her with late-stage Alzheimer's Disease. She'd quickly gone from just being forgetful, to someone who we couldn't care for at home. We decided to move her from the hospital to a nursing home and that's where she remained until her death.

The funeral was Monday and at my grandfather's request, I gave one of the eulogies. I was glad to be able to talk about a few of the things that made my grandmother so special.

Below, I've posted the text of what I said at the service. For those of you who didn't know my grandmother, I hope it gives you a little insight into the amazing woman that she was.


There was nothing in life more important to my grandmother than her family. She was so poroud of all of us and so glad all of her children and grandchildren lived so close to her.

Grandma wanted to make sure we all got a good education so she could brag about how smart we were. She wanted to make sure we all had our own houses so she didn’t have to worry about where we would live. And she wanted to make sure we all found the right person to marry so we would always have someone to take care of us like she had Grandpa to take care of her.

Grandma did everything in her power to make all of this a reality. She wound up driving each of us back and forth to school countless times. And whenever one of the grandkids was ready to buy a house, she gave us the money for a down payment.

And even in her last weeks, she was intent on making sure all of her grandchildren had their perfect match. I was visiting her at the hospital and she asked where my brother Danny was. I explained that he was home and would be visiting later. She said she just wanted to introduce him to the nurse because that’s the kind of girl he should meet. Nevermind the fact that the nurse was married.

Seeing her family was always the most important thing to her. Whenever something good happened, we couldn’t wait to run and tell Grandma because we knew how happy she would be. Forget world peace or winning the lottery. Grandma just wanted me to find a husband.

One of my favorite memories is how when we were little, my brothers and I would spend New Year’s Eve at my grandparents’ house so my parents could go out with their friends. Grandma would always stock up on cake and ice cream and say “We can have our own little party.” The best part was that Grandma would always let me stay up until midnight to watch the ball drop but she’d make my brothers go to bed early.

Every Jewish grandmother tends to worry but Grandma turned it into an art form. When there wasn’t anything to worry about, she created something. Thank goodness she never discovered the Weather Channel. She taught us that a car is a weapon, never to pick up hitchhikers, and beware of the undertow. We knew to always wear our seatbelts, to lock the doors, and never touch a cigarette.

But most of all, Grandma taught us about love. My grandparents have been married for 70 years. Their marriage has been an inspiration to all of us. It meant so much to me get married with her wedding band and I wear it everyday.

I can’t even begin to explain how much I’m going to miss my Grandma. I know she loved every moment she had with us and I’m just so very lucky to have had 30 years with her.

-30-

On the occasion of my 30th birthday it seems only proper to take a look back at the three decades which have been my life. Happily, I feel I can honestly say I have no regrets.

My family, all its quirks included, has made me who I am today. I married a man who couldn't be more perfect for me. And, I was born to do the job I do.

I am undoubtedly one of the lucky ones. This doesn't mean that I haven't faced my share of challenges in life, but it does make me a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

My first major hurdle came around the time I turned 12 years old. Struck by depression and anxiety, I stopped going to school. Through the amazing patience of my parents and grandparents, I started home-schooling which gave me the chance to stay up-to-date academically while sorting through the other issues.

My family's dedication ultimately led me to St. Timothy's School where I truly thrived. Thanks to the school's attention to the individual attention and academic rigor, I went on to college and then law school. Had it not been for St. Tim's, I wouldn't have gotten to where I am today.

Five years ago this week, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. That's a life-changing event, if I've ever seen one. It's definitely made me a stronger person, or at least I'd like to think that it has. I might as well get something out of it, right?

It's funny how all the little bits in life add up to make me who I am. I can't wait to see how life plays out from here on out.

My darling husband recently reminded me that in journalism, 30 signifies the end. I guess it's a good thing I'm not a journalist anymore.

Caught

This year marked a new development in our Black Friday snowglobe hunt.

I got caught.

I was on my fourth time around when it happened. I'd left the store through a side exit and waited for a crowd of people before walking in again. I tried to blend in with them but it didn't work.

There was a bottleneck. I stood there two seconds too long. I was spotted.

The overly-cheerful JCPenney employee turned to me and slowly handed me a snowglobe.

"Second one?" he said, looking at me with a sly but knowing grin. I sheepishly accepted the snowglobe.

"I'm observant," he added.

Oh, I can't tell you how badly I wanted to say "Well, apparently not that observant, because this is actually my fourth one." But I kept my mouth shut.

Still, the family finished out the day with 11 snowglobes. I have no complaints.

I wasn't sure how well this year would go. The family has had a rough time lately and I was afraid the stress and need for sleep would keep my fellow snowglobe hunters in bed this year. We moved my grandmother to a nursing home this week after she spent a week in the hospital with what her doctor is calling late-stage Alzheimer's Disease. It's been a really hard time.

The family immediately balked last night when I reminded them that JCPenney opened at 4 a.m. They were tired. They wanted to sleep in. I said I'd be leaving the house at 3:45 and whoever wanted to join me was welcome.

My brother, Matt, was outside of my house when I opened the door at that ungodly hour. He and I drove to JCPenney where, to our amazement, a line was already forming outside.

I then had a call from my husband who was shocked that I left the house without him and said he'd be right there.

In all, I got four snowglobes and Matt and Rich each got two. I was happy with the eight, but later got a call from my dad who said he and Matt went back later on and they got another three.

I know it's a stupid tradition but for some reason, it means a lot to me. And I think it means even more to me this year when we're so worried about Grandma. It's nice to have some continuity in life.

Our new America

Barack Obama officially changed our nation yesterday, winning the hearts and minds of millions who previously never gave a thought to politics. And it really shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone.

This election has been unique from the very start.

Obama is a politician like none I've seen in my lifetime. He's so different, in fact, that I don't know what to think. He has fans and followers with an enthusiasm that typically accompanies boy bands and football teams.

It's that hero worship, not his politics, that makes me uncomfortable. I've been brought up to believe that you can't trust politicians and that it's the public duty to question their actions and inactions.

But in this election, I found that people were personally insulted if you so much as asked a question about Obama. It was as if by questioning Obama, you were questioning their entire existence. There was a new emotion in this election. Of course after eight years of George Bush, I can see how people would get a little emotional.

My father points out that we can now thank Bush for one positive thing: Motivating people to vote.

And I certainly give Obama credit for getting interested in politics again. I worked as an election judge again and voters voted with a passion. We went to start setting up the polls on Monday night and one gentleman came by just to make sure he knew exactly where to go the next morning. I was the first election judge to arrive on Tuesday morning and at 5:15 a.m., there were already people camped out.

We went non-stop from the time the polls opened at 7 a.m. until 12:20 when we finally got a minute's break. Surprisingly, the steady flow did not continue through the day. Although we reached a 69 percent voter turnout at our precinct, the afternoon and evening hours were very slow.

Many more people brought their children with them to vote this time around. And unless you've got a screaming baby, I've always thought this was an important thing to do. I still remember my parents taking us with them to vote over the years. I particularly remember going with my mom to Winand Elementary to vote in the Reagan-Mondale contest in 1984. I thought those old-style voting booths with the levers and curtains were the coolest thing. I hope the kids of today had the same positive experience as I did.

I'm very curious to see what will happen once Obama is inaugurated in January. Every president gets a honeymoon period, but I have to wonder how long Obama's freedom from criticism will last.

I really wish him the best of luck, even though I might not agree with him on all of the issues (but I also don't agree with McCain). He has a tough job ahead of him and a lot of work to do. It's a job that I certainly don't envy.

For America's sake, I hope he really does have all the answers. But I also hope people remember that he's a politician and as citizens, we have a duty to keep our elected officials in check. After all, it was George Bush who argued that it's un-American to challenge your government and we all see how well that worked out.

Mmmm... cake!

I love cake.

Wait, let me repeat that. I love love love love love cake. If allowed, I would gladly subsist on cake and nothing else. But Rich, with his silly theory on balanced diets, has overruled me on that.

But, for our anniversary this year, I got in a little cake love. I signed us up for a cake decorating class.

Let me tell you -- the folks on Ace of Cakes make this cake decorating thing look way too easy. I mean I knew it would be a challenge, considering I have no creativity, skill, or coordination, but I didn't think I'd fret over it as much as I did.

For the last class, we were told to bake our own cake, ice it, and bring it so we could decorate our masterpiece.

So on Sunday Rich and I baked our cake and started the icing process. This did not go well. I'm not sure if the cake was just too moist or if we just didn't give it enough time to cool, but when we starting icing it, chunks starting falling off. I had a cake avalanche on my hands.

I became quite distraught and was ready to trash the whole thing but I just don't have it in me to throw away a cake. Rich suggested that we stick the cake in the fridge and give it a try the next day with a new batch of thinner icing.

The idea worked and I caulks the cake with the new icing, filling in the cracks. By the time I was done, you could hardly tell how bad it looked the day before. Yes, the cake and all its spackle now weighed about 10 lbs., but it looked good.

Our last class happened to be on the eve of my parents' 36th anniversary so we decided to make the cake for them as a gift. I toyed with a few different sayings such "Celebrating 12 years of happiness" or "36 years of wedded adequecy." But, due to my lack of skill in writing on cakes, we opted for a shorter and simpler design.

I have to say that I'm pretty proud of how it turned out. How it tastes, however, is an entirely different issues. I may love cake, but I'm not fighting to try this one.

So, um, enjoy it Mom & Dad. Hope you've stocked up on toilet paper.

Disney on speed

My dad always said the only way I'd ever make it to Disney World was through the Make-A-Wish Foundation. I guess it was my own fault for not getting cancer 15 years earlier.

But last week I finally managed to make it to Disney, courtesy of a free trip I won. Sure it was just two nights and we had to stay at a child-focused hotel, but it was worth it.

We got into Orlando a little before noon on Sunday, checked in at the hotel, and headed straight for Epcot. For a place whose acronym stands for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow, I really would have expected better bathroom technology. Seriously, could they not have anticipated that the future would require more than two stalls in a ladies room?

And aside from that, I really would have hoped that the future could have worked out an automatic toilet that flushed upon completion rather than when I entered the stall.

But enough about toilets. I have so much more to criticize.

We hit all the major high points of Epcot, including the GM Test Track and the space ride inside the big silver golf ball looking thing at the front of the park. We made our way through the various countries and finished out the day by watching the fireworks display over the water.

The next day we went to the Magic Kingdom which was, thankfully, far less crowded. We made a beeline for Space Mountain as soon as they opened the gates and followed it up with It's a Small World and The Hall of Presidents.

Never having been to a Disney park before, I was a little surprised that the rides were hardly rides at all and certainly not scary. In fact, it was pretty much like going on the same ride over and over again. They herd you into a slow-moving vehicle that takes you through an indoor animatronic journey. Sometimes they change it up and you get into a fake boat instead of a fake car.

It's probably fair to say that the extent of my Disney knowledge comes from the Simpsons episode where they go to Krustyland. And that brings us to the final (and best) day of the trip when we hit Universal Studios for its new Simpsons ride.

In life, if you're lucky, you experience a few moments where it feels like things were created just for you. This is what the Simpsons ride was for me. Even waiting in line was fun as we enjoyed all the subtleties created for the ride.

After two go-rounds on the Simpsons ride, we did Disaster and Twister and the Mummy rollercoaster. By the time we went on a few more rides it was time to head back to the hotel to catch our shuttle back to the airport.

Now a note about our hotel. As I said before, we won the trip and therefore did not get a choice in where we stayed. The Nickelodeon Family Suites would have been the last place I would have stayed if I had a choice, but I really don't have any complaints. I would highly recommend it for anyone traveling with children.

Overall, I think I dealt pretty well with being out of my element, i.e. around kids. Rich reminded me that this wasn't Vegas -- we were traveling in their world.

Our time at the hotel was greatly improved once we located the bar. For the record, it takes three drinks for me to forget that I'm surrounded by screaming children.

I overheard one conversation while waiting in line for a ride and I think it was more telling than anything I could say. A little girl asked her father why her little brother was crying. The father pauses, and then say "Because it must be his turn to cry."

I honestly don't understand how parents can manage to do Disney or any other kind of vacation with kids. Traveling without kids is difficult enough. Add to that a stroller, diaper bag, snacks, and activities to keep your tired child occupied, and I no longer doubt why my parents never took us anywhere.

Mom and Dad -- You're officially forgiven. And I'm done with Disney.