The New York City government recently took a drastic step and decided to legislate something that many citizens lack: Common sense.According to the New York Times, the city will soon start fining people whose cell phone goes off in a theater, those whose car alarms go off for more than three minutes, and my favorite, the selfish subway riders who put their feet up and take more than one seat.
Now I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of legislating manners. In fact, I'm not comfortable with it at all. So instead, I think I'll just write a friendly letter to the patrons whom I share the Baltimore subway with on a daily basis.
Hey subway people,
It's me -- you know, the girl that keeps her head buried in a book or newspaper at all times and tries to pretend she's not on the subway? Oh, come on... you know me. I'm the one who showers every single day and doesn't have one of those annoying Nextel phones that alternates beeping and static. That has to narrow it down to three or four people. Still not sure? I always wear headphones when I'm listening to music. Oh, and I'd be the one who has never elbowed an elderly person out of the way in an attempt to grab one of the seats reserved for the handicapped.
Anyway, I just wanted to make a few suggestions on how to make the daily subway ride a little more pleasant for those around you. The first topic I would like to discuss is hygiene.
While I certainly encourage good hygiene, and heaven knows several of you have a long way to go, the subway isn't really the place for your primping. Now I'm okay with an occasional make-up check or running a brush through your hair, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd save your nail clipping for later. It's one of those things you really shouldn't do in public. The same goes for those of you who like to apply or remove nail polish on the train. The smell is, well, nauseating at best. An unventilated train isn't the best place for your manicure.
The next set of people I'd like to address are the seat hogs. These come in a few different forms. There are the ones who get on when the train is empty and spread out across two seats but then don't adjust when the train soon becomes crowded. I don't care if you spread out when there's no one else around, but when people are falling over one another and packed in like sardines, it wouldn't hurt for you to move your leg.
Similarly, if you're an able-bodied person, it would be nice if you would offer your seat to someone who isn't quite as lucky. That means when you see someone get on who might be elderly, uses a cane, or for some other reason, may need a seat that day, you can stand up and see if they might want to sit down. They may say no so you may get off easy. And if you're in the seats reserved for the elderly/handicapped, just move your ass please.
I also have a special message to the five young gentleman on the subway yesterday afternoon who thought it was a riot to pry the doors open while the subway was in motion. Do you really have that much confidence in the construction and maintenance of the Baltimore subway system? If so, you're far more optimistic than I am. You know the same people who can't keep the escalators running for more than 13 minutes at a time? They're the same ones working on the trains. If you want to be sucked out of a moving subway car that's fine, but please wait until I get off. I'd rather read about it in tomorrow's paper.
Well guys, I don't want this to run too long because I know you're eager to get off and smoke that cigarette, but if you could wait until you actually leave the train station before lighting up, those of us who don't enjoy a face full of smoke on the escalator would be forever grateful.
Actually, now that we're talking escalators, I do need to add a few more things. I'm thinking that whole walk-left/stand-right thing really may need to be legislated because for some reason, some of you just aren't getting it. And you're the same people who get annoyed when someone says "excuse me" and tries to squeeze past you.
Another escalator-related issue comes when a train arrives and everyone tries to get on the escalator immediately. Perfectly understandable, considering we're all in a hurry these days. But did you notice that line of people waiting patiently to board? Just out of curiosity, why is it that they should wait in line while you just push your way in? I'm sure you have someplace to be but I was just thinking that if you're that important, you might be an interesting person to talk to on one of our daily treks.
Well, that's it for now. I know this ran a little long but hey, with all the train delays, you should have plenty of time for reading!
Thanks everybody, and I'll see you on the subway!
Politely yours,
AlisaBS
