Everything I need to know in life I learned dogsitting

Wow, what a weekend. Rich and I made our first true foray into canine companionship by dogsitting for Maverick, a friend's cockapoo.

Maverick is an adorable little guy and so full of energy. I'm completely in love with the little fluff ball. It took the first day for us all to get used to one another but by the time he left yesterday, I already missed him. The house just isn't the same without doggie toys to trip over, gates to block the stairs, and late night walks before bedtime.

Still, nothing feels quite as good as cuddling up on the couch to watch TV with a napping puppy on your lap.

Here are a few of the important things we learned:

1. Rich still has allergy issues, even with a cockapoo. His allergies didn't seem as bad as they might have been with other breeds but it was enough of a problem that we can't be dog owners right now.

2. A fenced yard is an absolutely necessity if we're going to have a dog. There are only so many walks we can take, especially when the weather is as cold as it has been. Being able to let him out into the backyard would have been much easier. Thank goodness for my brothers' fenced yard that's only a block away.

3. If we do get a dog, it needs to be an older dog without puppy exuberance. Even though we like taking walks, we're not cut out for a high-energy dog. We'd do much better with an older one that lays around the house. (Think Yellow Dog from Funny Farm.)

4. Our lifestyle is a bit too busy to adequately care for a dog of our own. We can certainly adjust if we're dogsitting, but generally we're not home enough. It's just not fair to a dog to keep him crated so much on a regular basis.

I really learned a lot this weekend. I'm dissapointed that we're not getting a dog in the near future but I couldn't have asked for a more educational doggie experience. I'll just have to get my puppy fill through visiting other dogs. I'm so glad we had the opportunity to learn what we did so a big thank you to Maverick (and Mav's mommy and daddy) for giving us this chance.

Tell me where to go

This is the chance you've all been waiting for. It's time to tell me where to go -- on vacation, that is.

Rich has off of work for the first week of July so we're trying to plan a nice little trip. The problem? We have no idea what to do or where to go. And we don't want to spend much money either.

Our views on the perfect vacation tend to vary somewhat. He wants excitement and plush accommodations, while relaxation and site-seeing top my list. Cruises have been a wonderful way to combine all of those interests but they're really expensive that time of year, especially with the Fourth of July holiday.

Further, neither of us are really beach people. We're not big fans of hot weather so an island locale is probably not the way to go.

My first thought was that this would be the perfect time to visit some of my family in the Providence/Boston suburbs/southern coastal Maine region. (I haven't exactly discussed this with any of them though so it may not even be a possibility.)

But in order to make it fulfill the excitement aspect that Rich requires, we would have to find something to accompany the visits with relatives. (I've already nixed tornado chasing. There's not enough life insurance in the world to make that a good idea.)

Unfortunately the Orioles are not playing in Boston during that week. We also haven't seen any Broadway shows coming to the area that we'd be desperate to see.

This is why I need you help. I need you all to design me a vacation. The person who comes up with the winning idea will get a 2006 JCPenney snowglobe.

Something to believe in

It's a pretty exciting time to be a Marylander.

Cal Ripken Jr. is headed to the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Ravens are headed to the playoffs, and our tax-and-spend politicians are headed to Annapolis.

Yes, it's General Assembly season -- a time for back-stabbing, pork-barreling, and constituency-screwing. And judging by past elections, we Marylanders wouldn't have it any other way.

But it's also a time of delusional hope, for there's always a chance that one of our elected officials will do something purposeful and worthwhile and that it won't backfire.

I have just a few hopes for this year's session. First, I would like to see Maryland finally pass a law like the one proposed by Sen. Brian Frosh that would allow consumers to put a freeze on their credit reports before they fall victim to identity theft.

Now would also be a good time to legalize slots here in Maryland. Why should my husband and I have to leave the state to lose our money to silly machines? It's really not so different than the Maryland Lottery or those slot machines that aren't really slot machines at bingo parlors. Hopefully without the partisan name-calling we can actually make some progress on the slots issue this session.

I would also like to see the establishment of some agency responsible for the oversight of condominium and homeowner's associations. While I know this is very unlikely and I'm generally against bigger government anyway, it really is a needed addition. The Task Force on Common Ownership Communities is expected to report back this year so we'll have to wait and see where that takes us.

And that brings me to my most important wish for this year. Special note to legislators: Please, please, please don't pass any new laws unless you have some means of enacting and enforcing them. Otherwise the bill becomes nothing more than one of our other unenforced laws and will be treated as a joke.

Oh, yeah, and please don't raise taxes.

So as we sit back and hold onto our wallets through the next three months of the session, I can only hold my breath and hope for the best. It'll all be over soon enough.

Go Ravens!

Resolution time

Now that it's the start of 2007 I must adhere to the annual ritual of selecting resolutions for the new year. Here they are, in no particular order.

1. Lose weight by eating less and exercising more. (I go back to Weight Watchers tomorrow.)

2. Work on my memory so I don't lose it completely like my mom has. (Suggestions on how to do this are welcome.)

3. Finance an insurrection in a small country. (My finances are limited so I have to start small.)

4. Try to stop criticizing and talking so badly about people. (My heart isn't totally into this one. That's why I said try.)

5. Continue working to keep government accountable. (I've actually got a pretty good start on this one.) From today's Sun:

Bad lighting makes for scary commute
Originally published January 2, 2007

THE PROBLEM // AlisaBS, a state employee who commutes downtown from Owings Mills, reported that there is inadequate lighting in the courtyard leading to the Charles Center Metro stop, in the block bound by Fayette, Baltimore, Calvert and St. Paul streets.

THE BACKSTORY // AlisaBS wrote that, to enter the subway station from Fayette Street, "commuters must first make their way through a very dark section that is popular among panhandlers."

She said she feels uncomfortable walking alone to the subway when she gets out of work after dark.

On Wednesday night, a reporter found nine lampposts surrounding the station without working lights and, in less than five minutes, was twice approached by panhandlers.

After The Sun called about the situation Thursday, the city Department of Transportation immediately sent an employee to the scene to confirm that the lights were not working.

Spokeswoman Tia Waddy said the department would determine the source of the problem and make the needed repairs.

By late that afternoon, workers had brought out large portable lights to use in the meantime.

WHO CAN FIX THIS // Anthony Wallnofer, chief of the maintenance division at the Baltimore Department of Transportation, 410-396-1686.

6. Raise at least $1000 for the 2007 Owings Mills Relay For Life.

7. Stay cancer free.

8. International Tribunal for the Prosecution of Persons Responsible for Serious Violations of International Humanitarian Law Committed in the Territory of the Former Yugoslavia since 1991. (Oops, that's a U.N. Security Council Resolution, not a New Year's Resolution. And it's from 2006 so it wouldn't count anyway. Sorry. My bad.)

Yeah, I should probably stop now.

Happy New Year to everyone!

Doggie danger zone

I've long theorized that my parents' house is toxic but now the true danger is starting to manifest itself.

About two weeks ago our sweet chocolate lab, Buddy, an otherwise healthy dog if you ignore his allergies, skin problems, thyroid issues, and lyme disease, underwent what we believe was his first seizure.

Then over the weekend my brother's dog, Snoopy, was visiting Buddy and he had a seizure too. Snoopy's was worse than Buddy's, I'm told, and my parents really thought that was it for the little guy.

The only thing the two dogs have in common is the fact that they were at my parents' house. They have different diets and they're different breeds so I don't think it's genetic or something they ate. Yet, like I have experienced myself, the sheer fact of being at my parents' house sends them into a tizzy.

We had Buddy at the vet after his seizure where we began the process of ruling out potential causes. If we can't link it to anything else, we go with the default diagnosis which is canine epilepsy.

I'm starting to learn about canine epilepsy and it scares the crap out of me. There's really not much you can do for the dog while he's having a seizure. Some theorize that putting an ice pack on the dog's back will shorten the seizure but other people say to just let the dog alone and wait for the seizure to end.

Of course we don't even know if either dog will have another seizure. It could happen again today, a year from now, or never. You just don't know. All I know is that I watched Alex, the best dog ever, die during some sort of seizure and I never want to witness anything like that again.

At any rate, I'm convinced that the seizures Buddy and Snoopy had are due to some environmental cause. Lead is a possible toxin but my parents say there couldn't possibly be any lead in the house. Their house was built in the 1980s so I'm inclined to agree.

Still, I think there is enough junk in my parents' house to make anybody sick. Just look at my parents. Clearly there's something wrong there.

I think this health scare is the perfect opportunity for my parents to step up and clean their house, top to bottom, so that we can rule out any environmental causes. Buddy and Snoopy deserve that.

Plus, it would make visiting much nicer.

Hey Baltimore County: Don't mess with my grandparents

See that cute elderly couple to the left? Those are my grandparents. And Baltimore County is trying to make them miserable.

Earlier this week, my 91-year-old grandparents were very upset to receive a citation from the county stating that they must move their car from their driveway by Dec. 26, 2006 because it is not currently licensed. The vehicle is, however, fully operable and on their own property.

Failure to move the car by the specified date will result in a $200 per day fine.

The primary reason my grandparents keep their car, even though they don't drive it, is for safety. They believe that having a car outside is a signal that someone is home and will deter criminals from breaking in. I can't say whether this is actually a true crime deterrentt but if it makes my grandparents happy, then I'm all for it.

In addition, we use the trunk of the vehicle for storage of a wheelchair and walker. Because we no longer permit my grandparents to drive, it is incumbent upon the children and grandchildren to transport them to doctor's appointments. Keeping their medical aids in the car eases the process significantly.

None of this seems to matter to the people at Baltimore County code enforcement who received a complaint and found my grandparents in violation of Section 428:

Section 428, Outside Storage of Unlicensed or Inoperative Motor Vehicles on Residential Property [Bill No. 135-1986]

A. An inoperative motor vehicle may not be stored outside on a residential lot.

B. An unlicensed motor vehicle may not be stored outside on a residential lot except under the following conditions:

1. Outside storage (i.e., not within a fully enclosed structure) for a period not exceeding 15 days, unless extended by the Zoning Commissioner, in any calendar year is permitted for no more than one such vehicle per dwelling unit per year.

2. The vehicle may not be stored in a front or side yard unless placed in a driveway or other off-street parking area, and the vehicle may not be stored in a rear yard unless placed at least 8 feet from any property line.

3. The owner of the vehicle must reside on the lot upon which the vehicle is stored.

4. The vehicle may not be used or dismantled for parts.

C. Nothing contained in Subsection B shall be construed to prohibit the outside storage of unlicensed but operative farm tractors or farm equipment actually and regularly used on a farm, farmette or satellite farm.

I'm not entirely sure where to channel my anger. I know I'm annoyed with the County Council which, 20 years ago, passed the legislation telling people what they can and can't do on their own private property. I know I'm mad at whoever it was that reported my grandparents to the county. I suppose I really can't blame the inspector who issued the citation because he was just doing his job.

The good news is that I convinced the aforementioned inspector to grant a 30-day extension so at least my grandparents don't have to rush to do something in the next few days. I asked him about what it takes for the zoning commission to issue a special exception and he said no exception has ever been granted.

I just can't forgive anyone who gives my grandparents a hard time. It's their car and their property. Why does the county get to tell them they can't keep something there that gives them a sense of security?

Perhaps in the alternative, Baltimore County would be willing to put a marked police car on the driveway 24/7. Too expensive? Then let my grandparents keep their car. They're 91 and never done a thing wrong in their lives. They've earned it.

It's my birthday... still

I've recently been chastised for not providing a timely account of my birthday for readers of my blog. Please note that the reason I have not yet given such a summary is that I don't actually consider my birthday to be over yet.

Still, to appease the masses, I hereby present a quick run-down of how my birthday season has gone so far.

The birthday season has thus far included three Broadway shows (Les Miserables, RENT, and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels) as well as the great Baltimore area gastro-entertainment tour, featuring Sotto Sopra, Copra, Cazbar, Baldwin's Station (for both brunch and dinner), Artful Gourmet Bistro, Liberatore's, Don Pablo's, and Fuddruckers.

I am also pleased to once again share my birthday month with Hanukkah and Christmas, which generally serve to increase the dessert available. Over the weekend we dined on latkes at Rich's dad and stepmom's place and then glorious rainbow cake at my aunt and uncle's house.

Starting this year, I now share my birthday month with my cousin's son, Gabriel, who was born last Sunday. As long as the little guy doesn't try to move in on my birthday turf, I think things should be okay. Due to the birth of the aforementioned child, we also attended a bris with spectacular bris food. If you haven't had bris food, you don't know what you're missing. I would highly recommend befriending a nearby pregnant Jewish woman in the immediate future so as to increase your chances of a bris invite. If you cannot locate one on your own, just head over to Park Heights Avenue and you're sure to find one ready to pop. Happy bagels, lox, and whitefish!

The rest of my birthday month shall showcase a trip to Hershey, PA and a short jaunt to Atlantic City, with the month culminating in a New Year's Eve celebration that will certainly include multiple forms of dessert.

By the time I finally awake from my food-induced coma we'll be safely into January and that can only mean one thing -- it's Weight Watchers time baby!

Um, when did I become Cathy?

Or maybe more appropriately, when did Cathy become me?

I know I'm married and chubby too but it's really scaring me that I relate more and more to Cathy each day.

If she starts hoarding JCPenney snowglobes, just shoot me.

It's just a stupid sandwich

Annapolis is all abuzz this week with talk of what kind of sandwich Gov-elect Martin O'Malley will select to bear his name at the venerable Chick and Ruth's Delly.

Will he honor his Irish roots and choose corned beef or will he kowtow (or cow-tow, perhaps) to the vegetarian lobby and select something without meat?

Or most importantly, does it matter? It didn't matter four years ago when Gov. Bob Ehrlich went against recommendations and chose a turkey sandwich and this time around is no different.

The local media can't seem to get enough of this story and yet I can't seem to care. The tv stations talk about it every chance they get and The Sun has already given more ink to sandwichgate than to O'Malley's selections for his deputy chiefs of staff. Pardon me if I'm more concerned with the governor-to-be's decisions on taxes, slots, and the death penalty, than I am with his lunch choices.

All of this hullabaloo takes me back to an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David is honored with a sandwich at Leo's Delicatessen. In typical Larry David fashion, he's not happy -- he doesn't like the sandwich selected for him (whitefish, sable, onions, capers and cream cheese) and wants to switch with his friend Ted Danson (the turkey, cole slaw and Russian dressing.) Hilarity, of course, ensues.

Now life imitates art and I have to tell you, I like the art version better. I'm certainly not against a little levity in politics, but this is a damn sandwich. If we're talking about something more relevant like cookies, it might be a different story.

And for the record, I think I like Attorney General Joe Curran's sandwich pick the best. His is the pizza bagel. He catered to the Italians and the Jews all at once. Can't go wrong with that.

One entrance, 13 snowglobes: Black Friday 2006

It's almost as if JCPenney doesn't trust us.

Every year the store gives out free snowglobes (formerly ornaments) to the shoppers willing to brave Black Friday. And every year, we're right there front and center, ready to stake our claim.

(If you're new to this blog or the AlisaBS family, please see my Black Friday 2005 entry to better understand the significance of this annual event.)

But rather than distribute the snowglobes at each of the store's four entrances, this year the Owings Mills Mall location only gave them out at one. It's almost like they were afraid people would try to get more than one by going in another entrance. Silly retailer. It takes a lot more than limiting the point of distribution to stop my family.

Or at least it takes more than that for most of my family. My husband shirked his duties this year, managing only one snowglobe for the greater good. He whined about there only being one entrance and tried to rest on his previous year's success. Not good enough. I expect a better showing next year, mister.

Thankfully my father and one brother (Matt, the good twin) stepped up this year, nabbing four each. I yoinked four as well. So 13 in total isn't bad, especially considering the roadblock thrown up at us.

I was also pleased with our shopping haul on the holiest of shopping days, despite the lackluster bargains across-the-board. As we poured over the ads, nothing really jumped out at us as a must-have. I have no need or desire for a PlayStation 3 (not that there are any to be had anyway) and I wouldn't know what to do with a TMX Elmo if I tripped over it and squeezed out its very last annoying giggle.

I did, however, get some $8 iPod speakers (quality, I'm sure) as well as a good deal on Apples to Apples and the Scene It TV edition at Boscov's. I also bought an all-in-one printer and Rich got a bargain on some new luggage. I get all tingly thinking about the dollars whose lives were spared by extra percentage-off coupons!

Here's wishing you a season of price cuts, clearance merchandise, and closeouts!