It's just a stupid sandwich

Annapolis is all abuzz this week with talk of what kind of sandwich Gov-elect Martin O'Malley will select to bear his name at the venerable Chick and Ruth's Delly.

Will he honor his Irish roots and choose corned beef or will he kowtow (or cow-tow, perhaps) to the vegetarian lobby and select something without meat?

Or most importantly, does it matter? It didn't matter four years ago when Gov. Bob Ehrlich went against recommendations and chose a turkey sandwich and this time around is no different.

The local media can't seem to get enough of this story and yet I can't seem to care. The tv stations talk about it every chance they get and The Sun has already given more ink to sandwichgate than to O'Malley's selections for his deputy chiefs of staff. Pardon me if I'm more concerned with the governor-to-be's decisions on taxes, slots, and the death penalty, than I am with his lunch choices.

All of this hullabaloo takes me back to an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David is honored with a sandwich at Leo's Delicatessen. In typical Larry David fashion, he's not happy -- he doesn't like the sandwich selected for him (whitefish, sable, onions, capers and cream cheese) and wants to switch with his friend Ted Danson (the turkey, cole slaw and Russian dressing.) Hilarity, of course, ensues.

Now life imitates art and I have to tell you, I like the art version better. I'm certainly not against a little levity in politics, but this is a damn sandwich. If we're talking about something more relevant like cookies, it might be a different story.

And for the record, I think I like Attorney General Joe Curran's sandwich pick the best. His is the pizza bagel. He catered to the Italians and the Jews all at once. Can't go wrong with that.

One entrance, 13 snowglobes: Black Friday 2006

It's almost as if JCPenney doesn't trust us.

Every year the store gives out free snowglobes (formerly ornaments) to the shoppers willing to brave Black Friday. And every year, we're right there front and center, ready to stake our claim.

(If you're new to this blog or the AlisaBS family, please see my Black Friday 2005 entry to better understand the significance of this annual event.)

But rather than distribute the snowglobes at each of the store's four entrances, this year the Owings Mills Mall location only gave them out at one. It's almost like they were afraid people would try to get more than one by going in another entrance. Silly retailer. It takes a lot more than limiting the point of distribution to stop my family.

Or at least it takes more than that for most of my family. My husband shirked his duties this year, managing only one snowglobe for the greater good. He whined about there only being one entrance and tried to rest on his previous year's success. Not good enough. I expect a better showing next year, mister.

Thankfully my father and one brother (Matt, the good twin) stepped up this year, nabbing four each. I yoinked four as well. So 13 in total isn't bad, especially considering the roadblock thrown up at us.

I was also pleased with our shopping haul on the holiest of shopping days, despite the lackluster bargains across-the-board. As we poured over the ads, nothing really jumped out at us as a must-have. I have no need or desire for a PlayStation 3 (not that there are any to be had anyway) and I wouldn't know what to do with a TMX Elmo if I tripped over it and squeezed out its very last annoying giggle.

I did, however, get some $8 iPod speakers (quality, I'm sure) as well as a good deal on Apples to Apples and the Scene It TV edition at Boscov's. I also bought an all-in-one printer and Rich got a bargain on some new luggage. I get all tingly thinking about the dollars whose lives were spared by extra percentage-off coupons!

Here's wishing you a season of price cuts, clearance merchandise, and closeouts!

Insert your own clever "change a lightbulb" joke here

I'll admit it. I've been known to make a negative comment about the Baltimore subway every now and then. But with the recent eruption of violence at various subway and light rail stops, I trusted that the MTA would be on top of things and make something as simple as parking lot lighting a priority. Not so.

Since daylight savings time kicked in a few weeks back, the parking lot at the Owings Mills metro station has been very dark from 5 p.m. on. At least half of the lights seem to be out and even the ones that were on didn't exactly cast off much light.

The parking lot there has also been under construction for a full year now, meaning that in addition to a dark lot, I also get to take a circuitous muddy route twice each day.

My husband and I took it upon ourselves to contact the MTA to let them know about the lights that were out. This was far more of a challenge than it should have been.

Rich called the MTA last Monday night to report the outages and the woman who answered said that wasn't her department and she couldn't forward the message. He said something to the effect of "I thought you might want to know considering the crime that's being going on lately at the stations" and the woman said "There's no crime there," and she hung up on him.

When we tried calling back, he was put on hold for a while and then disconnected. Eventually I called back on the cell phone and they said I could call the MTA comment line between 8 and 6 to report it. He called back the next day.

A week later, I arrived back to another dark parking lot. This time I'd programmed the MTA comment line into my cell phone and seeing as how it was only 5:40 p.m., figured it was the perfect time to call. But, after being on hold for 20 minutes, the comment line closed and kicked me over to a looped recording. It told me to press 1-6 to leave a comment. I pressed 1-6 and then I got the same message again. When I got home, I went to the MTA website to post a complaint.

My husband's actions yesterday, however, proved to be far more effective. Fed up with being unable to get through to anyone on any of the various phone lines set up for rider comments, he starting contacting some news organizations and politicians about the lights. Then, last night, on Channel 11's 11 p.m. newscast, success! They had a reporter out there showing the lights being changed.

It's disgusting that it took so much time and effort to get a few lightbulbs changed. The MTA claims it only became aware of the light situation yesterday, so to me that basically says they haven't had any MTA police or staff even glance at the parking lot in nearly a month. Pardon me for not feeling exactly, um, safe.

But what's today's lesson? Don't piss us off. Eventually we're going to get our way so let's just make it easy, okay?

So yay for Rich and as my dad proudly noted, "Keep complaining."

No I.D.? No problem!

With my first stint as an election judge now complete, I'm glad to say that everything went relatively smoothly and without incident.

It was certainly a long day. I arrived at 6 a.m. and didn't make it home until close to 11 p.m. But, we had close to a 50 percent turnout at my precinct with nearly 1300 voters coming through, so it all seemed worth it.

While we did have long lines at times, most people didn't seem overly bothered by the wait. Interestingly enough, the only real issue that upset voters was that they didn't have to show any I.D. in order to vote. No license, no utility bill, no nothing. As an election judge in Maryland, we are only allowed to ask for I.D. from a first-time voter who registered through the mail or if someone challenges the potential voter's identity.

Apparently some argue that voters may feel disenfranchised or intimidated if they're asked to prove who they really are. The American Civil Liberties Union, for example, regularly challenges attempts to require I.D. at the polls, saying it is akin to a poll tax and may discourage minorities or poor people from voting.

But from my vantage point, the real feelings of disenfranchisement came from voters who realized that anyone could have shown up and voted under their name.

Working as a check-in judge the whole day, I can tell you that at least 80 percent of the people who came in handed me a driver's license or a voter identification card as soon as they walked up. This included minorities, newly naturalized citizens, senior citizens, and people from all walks of life. They were proud to be able to vote and eager to exercise that right.

And just about every single person showed surprise and/or outrage that I didn't need to see their I.D.

One particular gentleman came up to me and asked what would stop him from giving his neighbor's name and voting as him. The answer? Absolutely nothing.

It's not like this in every state. According to the Election Reform Information Project, a non-partisan forum for election reform, 21 states currently require voters to show some form of I.D. Clearly Maryland isn't one of them but I think it should be.

The electronic age makes voter fraud even easier than before. Thanks to the National Center for the Study of Elections at UMBC, any person with internet access can easily go to a website and find out a person's polling place and party affiliation, as long as you have their name, date of birth, and zip code. Then they can show up at the polling place, give that name, and voila, instant voter fraud!

To top things off, the voter rolls still contain the names of people who have died, unless the family of the deceased has specifically notified the local board of elections. This means that a quick glance at the death notices in the newspaper can arm a person with all the information they need to vote under a dead person's name.

I have no desire to discourage anyone from voting. I was proud that as an election judge, we gave every single person an opportunity to cast a ballot, whether on the electronic voting machines or by a paper provisional ballot.

But in an era where trust is a thing of the past, it's time for Maryland's voting laws to catch up. Voting is one of the most sacred rights we hold as citizens and it angers me to no end that people are willing to jeopardize the security of an election so people don't get their feelings hurt.

Halloween candy may save your life

Just a few weeks ago stores were pulling spinach off the shelves following an outbreak of nearly 200 cases of E coli tied to the sneaky vegetable.

Now, for the second time in just a few weeks, we're being warned that other so-called produce may be harmful to our health. This time lettuce is the culprit and salmonella is its disease of choice.

I hate to say I told you so but c'mon, I totally told you so. All of this healthful eating had to catch up with you at some point.

I've long held the theory that things like fruits and vegetables can be harmful. Thankfully my parents were mindful of that and never exposed me to such dangers growing up. I never had to worry about happening upon carrots or broccoli when dining at such fine establishments as McDonalds and 7-Eleven.

Rewind to Thanksgiving 2002. Rich challenged me to eat broccoli, enticing me with promises of an enhanced Hanukkah gift. And what happened a year later? Yep, I got cancer. Before broccoli: No cancer. After broccoli: Cancer.

I'm no doctor but you can't argue with that kind of scientific logic.

So today, for your health's sake, please gorge yourself on Halloween treats. Skittles and cupcakes have never steered me wrong before.

Breast cancer envy

As everyone knows by now, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The pink ribbons are everywhere. Even the packaging for Campbell's Soup has gone pink for the month.

Now this is a really delicate issue so I'm going to try to be as careful as I can in what I have to say, but I do believe breast cancer has gone a bit too commercial.

Pink ribbons and clothing have become a fashion statement as opposed to a real statement. My mom was even able to buy a Breast Cancer Awareness labradoodle at Macy's last week. The stuffed animal, representing the epitome of trendiness in canines, came complete with a pink bandana and a pink ribbon stamped on its paw. Sure it's cute, but what does it really mean?

Cancer is not about ribbons, cute pieces of jewelry, or pink shoelaces. It's certainly not about stuffed animals. It's a serious, life-changing disease, and I can only hope that the corporations who purport to promote awareness understand that.

I have to ask myself whether I would feel the same way if I saw this commercialism happening to Colorectal Cancer, which, by the way, has its awareness month in March. Maybe I'm just jealous. Maybe I just wish that colon cancer could have the appeal of breast cancer. Would I get a kick out of seeing my very own disease go pop culture? I just don't know.

Please understand that I mean no offense to anyone who has suffered through breast cancer, either personally or through a loved one. As I hope everyone knows, I'm as sympathetic as they come when we're talking cancer. But I'm not so sympathetic when important causes lose their meaning when processed for mass consumption.

To be fair, I do wear a yellow Livestrong bracelet which some people see as cancer-gone-trendy. It reminds me of what I've been through. If the breast cancer merchandise has a similar meaning for those who purchase and/or wear it, then I have no complaints. But if it's adorned because that's what the cool kids are wearing, it's a whole different story.

Alisa meets Sin City

While I've been requested to provide a Las Vegas wrap-up edition of the Recovering Journalist, I'm finding it somewhat difficult to do so. As one of the last people in the world to visit Sin City, it's not exactly easy to make any unique or insightful comments.

Whatever I have to say has likely been said before. You've all taken the same pictures that I took, been harassed by the same porn peddlers on the Strip, and breathed the same secondhand smoke. You took the same gondola ride at the Venetian, saw the same water shows in front of the Bellagio, and dined at the same buffets.

That's because everything in Vegas is perfectly scripted and designed to grab your attention and preferably, your cash. It's total sensory overload times 100.

I do have to admit that I was taken aback by the fact that everything in Vegas is artificial -- every tree, every body of water, and pretty much all of the women too.

Over on the east coast our trees are naturally occurring for the most part. Vegas has trees too but they've all been put there in recent years and spaced just-so.

In a town where everyone is on vacation, the city's promotions office has done a nice job of convincing you to suspend any sense of reality (read: fiscal responsibility) and let loose. I tend not to be very good at that but I tried.

I enjoyed a $22 alcoholic concotion in a large purple tube. We ordered room service. I used two Vegas ATMs, with service charges of $4 a pop. This is from the girl who has been known to comparison shop before buying a pack of gum. So how's that for suspending reality?

To be honest, we had a really good time and will likely be planning a trip back, as long as I can be guaranteed a plasma tv in my bathroom again.

I've become one of them

I took a step this week in joining the 21st century. I finally bought an Ipod.

I figured it was time. I mean hell, even the Luddite Society made mock of me in its most recent podcast.

And in addition to that (which didn't really happen), I have a five-hour plane ride to Las Vegas this weekend aboard Southwest Air, where they offer cheerful flight attendants in lieu of in-flight entertainment. You all know I don't do cheerful.

(Side note: Don't even think of robbing my house while I'm gone this week. We have a top-notch security system complete with sensors and alarms and crap. Even more threatening is that my dad will be there, in his underwear, trying to figure out how to work the Tivo.)

Anyway, Apple recently released its new generation of Ipods so I decided I'd finally cave. They claim there are all kinds of new and improved features on this generation of Ipods. I opted to keep it simple and went for the 4GB Ipod Nano. It's silver and very cute.

As much as I'd like to write more right now, I need to go load more music onto my Ipod. So far I just have a bunch of Barenaked Ladies stuff and several Broadway musical soundtracks and I will not have Billy Joel feeling left out.

This is what I'm talking about

It's finally happened. The election is finally getting interesting. And it's all thanks to Michael Steele's puppy commercials.

Before I go any further, please read these important disclaimers:
1. I'm a sucker for anything with puppies, and
2. This evaluation is simply my personal assessment and should not be construed as an endorsement of either Michael Steele or Ben Cardin. (I actually can't relate to either of them.)

That said, if the senatorial race was based on originality alone, Steele would be the clear winner. Think about some of the ads you've seen on TV lately. They're all pretty much the same. You can insert Mr. Interchangeable Generic Candidate into any of them and not really notice a difference.

The following quotations come from the websites of the two candidates for governor.

"We need to focus on giving students, teachers and parents the resources they need to succeed."

"Maryland needs to share information at all levels -- federal, state and local -- to prevent disaster before it can claim more lives. We need to look to the future, with comprehensive plans, statewide drills, and interoperable communications technology, in order to protect our people and communities."

"[M]y campaign will continue to use this overwhelming expression of support to further my vision for better schools, safer neighborhoods and a healthier environment."

"Maryland must be an economic center based on first-rate education, technology, manufacturing and entrepreneurship."

Okay now tell me which quotations go with which candidate. (No Googling allowed.) Yeah, I can't do it either. Seriously... you would expect to hear any of those comments coming from either of the two candidates.

And that's why this ad campaign is different and whoever came up with it should be feeling pretty good right about now. Did you know who Michael Steele was five years ago? Do you know who he is now? Exactly.

Aside from attacting nationwide attention to the race, it's also forcing Cardin to respond. To Cardin's credit, he's done an impressive job of responding. He turned Steele's clever ad into a discussion of the issues. He reminds voters that while Steele likes puppies, he loves President Bush. For most Marylanders, that thought is far more terrifying than Steele's "scary music" any day.

Still, Steele has people talking. Even if they're not all fans of the puppy ads, people are talking about these commercials. A few crazies are calling Steele out for using a dog that wasn't his own in the ad. (Steele has a cute Husky, for those of you keeping track.) Others insist that Steele is using the commercial as a diversion from the real issues. Either way, he's getting attention and name recognition and that's the lifeblood of politics.

So thank you to the ad wizards who are making what could be an otherwise bland race a little more exciting. The voting public (or at least this member of the voting public) thanks you bunches.

Oh yeah... no offense to the inexcusable glitches preventing people from voting in the primary election. I found that really interesting too. It's just that like most Americans, TV tends to keep me interested longer that oh, say, things like constitutional rights. (Really, I'm kidding. Maybe.)

I'm still laughing

I got the below picture in an e-mail from my college roommate and it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. For those of you unfamiliar with good old St. Mary's County (home of St. Mary's College of Maryland), Rose's Place II is a redneck strip club frequented by townies and the occasional drunk college student. I don't know if this photo was staged or what but I don't really care.