Halloween candy may save your life

Just a few weeks ago stores were pulling spinach off the shelves following an outbreak of nearly 200 cases of E coli tied to the sneaky vegetable.

Now, for the second time in just a few weeks, we're being warned that other so-called produce may be harmful to our health. This time lettuce is the culprit and salmonella is its disease of choice.

I hate to say I told you so but c'mon, I totally told you so. All of this healthful eating had to catch up with you at some point.

I've long held the theory that things like fruits and vegetables can be harmful. Thankfully my parents were mindful of that and never exposed me to such dangers growing up. I never had to worry about happening upon carrots or broccoli when dining at such fine establishments as McDonalds and 7-Eleven.

Rewind to Thanksgiving 2002. Rich challenged me to eat broccoli, enticing me with promises of an enhanced Hanukkah gift. And what happened a year later? Yep, I got cancer. Before broccoli: No cancer. After broccoli: Cancer.

I'm no doctor but you can't argue with that kind of scientific logic.

So today, for your health's sake, please gorge yourself on Halloween treats. Skittles and cupcakes have never steered me wrong before.

Breast cancer envy

As everyone knows by now, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The pink ribbons are everywhere. Even the packaging for Campbell's Soup has gone pink for the month.

Now this is a really delicate issue so I'm going to try to be as careful as I can in what I have to say, but I do believe breast cancer has gone a bit too commercial.

Pink ribbons and clothing have become a fashion statement as opposed to a real statement. My mom was even able to buy a Breast Cancer Awareness labradoodle at Macy's last week. The stuffed animal, representing the epitome of trendiness in canines, came complete with a pink bandana and a pink ribbon stamped on its paw. Sure it's cute, but what does it really mean?

Cancer is not about ribbons, cute pieces of jewelry, or pink shoelaces. It's certainly not about stuffed animals. It's a serious, life-changing disease, and I can only hope that the corporations who purport to promote awareness understand that.

I have to ask myself whether I would feel the same way if I saw this commercialism happening to Colorectal Cancer, which, by the way, has its awareness month in March. Maybe I'm just jealous. Maybe I just wish that colon cancer could have the appeal of breast cancer. Would I get a kick out of seeing my very own disease go pop culture? I just don't know.

Please understand that I mean no offense to anyone who has suffered through breast cancer, either personally or through a loved one. As I hope everyone knows, I'm as sympathetic as they come when we're talking cancer. But I'm not so sympathetic when important causes lose their meaning when processed for mass consumption.

To be fair, I do wear a yellow Livestrong bracelet which some people see as cancer-gone-trendy. It reminds me of what I've been through. If the breast cancer merchandise has a similar meaning for those who purchase and/or wear it, then I have no complaints. But if it's adorned because that's what the cool kids are wearing, it's a whole different story.

Alisa meets Sin City

While I've been requested to provide a Las Vegas wrap-up edition of the Recovering Journalist, I'm finding it somewhat difficult to do so. As one of the last people in the world to visit Sin City, it's not exactly easy to make any unique or insightful comments.

Whatever I have to say has likely been said before. You've all taken the same pictures that I took, been harassed by the same porn peddlers on the Strip, and breathed the same secondhand smoke. You took the same gondola ride at the Venetian, saw the same water shows in front of the Bellagio, and dined at the same buffets.

That's because everything in Vegas is perfectly scripted and designed to grab your attention and preferably, your cash. It's total sensory overload times 100.

I do have to admit that I was taken aback by the fact that everything in Vegas is artificial -- every tree, every body of water, and pretty much all of the women too.

Over on the east coast our trees are naturally occurring for the most part. Vegas has trees too but they've all been put there in recent years and spaced just-so.

In a town where everyone is on vacation, the city's promotions office has done a nice job of convincing you to suspend any sense of reality (read: fiscal responsibility) and let loose. I tend not to be very good at that but I tried.

I enjoyed a $22 alcoholic concotion in a large purple tube. We ordered room service. I used two Vegas ATMs, with service charges of $4 a pop. This is from the girl who has been known to comparison shop before buying a pack of gum. So how's that for suspending reality?

To be honest, we had a really good time and will likely be planning a trip back, as long as I can be guaranteed a plasma tv in my bathroom again.

I've become one of them

I took a step this week in joining the 21st century. I finally bought an Ipod.

I figured it was time. I mean hell, even the Luddite Society made mock of me in its most recent podcast.

And in addition to that (which didn't really happen), I have a five-hour plane ride to Las Vegas this weekend aboard Southwest Air, where they offer cheerful flight attendants in lieu of in-flight entertainment. You all know I don't do cheerful.

(Side note: Don't even think of robbing my house while I'm gone this week. We have a top-notch security system complete with sensors and alarms and crap. Even more threatening is that my dad will be there, in his underwear, trying to figure out how to work the Tivo.)

Anyway, Apple recently released its new generation of Ipods so I decided I'd finally cave. They claim there are all kinds of new and improved features on this generation of Ipods. I opted to keep it simple and went for the 4GB Ipod Nano. It's silver and very cute.

As much as I'd like to write more right now, I need to go load more music onto my Ipod. So far I just have a bunch of Barenaked Ladies stuff and several Broadway musical soundtracks and I will not have Billy Joel feeling left out.

This is what I'm talking about

It's finally happened. The election is finally getting interesting. And it's all thanks to Michael Steele's puppy commercials.

Before I go any further, please read these important disclaimers:
1. I'm a sucker for anything with puppies, and
2. This evaluation is simply my personal assessment and should not be construed as an endorsement of either Michael Steele or Ben Cardin. (I actually can't relate to either of them.)

That said, if the senatorial race was based on originality alone, Steele would be the clear winner. Think about some of the ads you've seen on TV lately. They're all pretty much the same. You can insert Mr. Interchangeable Generic Candidate into any of them and not really notice a difference.

The following quotations come from the websites of the two candidates for governor.

"We need to focus on giving students, teachers and parents the resources they need to succeed."

"Maryland needs to share information at all levels -- federal, state and local -- to prevent disaster before it can claim more lives. We need to look to the future, with comprehensive plans, statewide drills, and interoperable communications technology, in order to protect our people and communities."

"[M]y campaign will continue to use this overwhelming expression of support to further my vision for better schools, safer neighborhoods and a healthier environment."

"Maryland must be an economic center based on first-rate education, technology, manufacturing and entrepreneurship."

Okay now tell me which quotations go with which candidate. (No Googling allowed.) Yeah, I can't do it either. Seriously... you would expect to hear any of those comments coming from either of the two candidates.

And that's why this ad campaign is different and whoever came up with it should be feeling pretty good right about now. Did you know who Michael Steele was five years ago? Do you know who he is now? Exactly.

Aside from attacting nationwide attention to the race, it's also forcing Cardin to respond. To Cardin's credit, he's done an impressive job of responding. He turned Steele's clever ad into a discussion of the issues. He reminds voters that while Steele likes puppies, he loves President Bush. For most Marylanders, that thought is far more terrifying than Steele's "scary music" any day.

Still, Steele has people talking. Even if they're not all fans of the puppy ads, people are talking about these commercials. A few crazies are calling Steele out for using a dog that wasn't his own in the ad. (Steele has a cute Husky, for those of you keeping track.) Others insist that Steele is using the commercial as a diversion from the real issues. Either way, he's getting attention and name recognition and that's the lifeblood of politics.

So thank you to the ad wizards who are making what could be an otherwise bland race a little more exciting. The voting public (or at least this member of the voting public) thanks you bunches.

Oh yeah... no offense to the inexcusable glitches preventing people from voting in the primary election. I found that really interesting too. It's just that like most Americans, TV tends to keep me interested longer that oh, say, things like constitutional rights. (Really, I'm kidding. Maybe.)

I'm still laughing

I got the below picture in an e-mail from my college roommate and it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. For those of you unfamiliar with good old St. Mary's County (home of St. Mary's College of Maryland), Rose's Place II is a redneck strip club frequented by townies and the occasional drunk college student. I don't know if this photo was staged or what but I don't really care.

The best day of the year

Regular readers of this blog (yes, both of you) are probably expecting to find some sort of Election Day wrap-up here today. Perhaps you're looking for some comments on the Willie Don's defeat or some insight into the voting snafus we've come to know and grudgingly expect? Well sorry. Not here. Not today.

There was another event that managed to steal my attention away from poll results yesterday. It's a little something called the Baltimore County Humane Society's Doggie Paddle. It's an annual fundraiser held at the pool by my house and it's the canine event of the year.

Buddy (the 120-lb. beast of a lab pictured above) and Snoopy (who's the one who really wears the pants in that relationship) were both very brave considering neither has ever been swimming before. (I did attend the event last year with Buddy but because he'd recently had stitches, there were no aquatic activities for him.)

Neither dog was overly thrilled at the site of the adult pool but they warmed up a little after getting their sea legs in the kiddie pool. Unfortunately once out near the adult pool, Buddy and Snoopy had to remain leashed. (One of them, and I'm not naming labs, oops, I mean names, found his way to the refreshments table and almost had himself a nice pizza dinner.)

Words cannot possibly convey the colloquy of cuteness witnessed yesterday. I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves. All together now... Aawwwwww!

This is a random cockapoo that I thought was just too adorable not to include. Like Bud and Snoop, he wasn't entirely sure what to make of the water-laced outing.







A group of dogs showing Snoopy and Buddy how it's done.







Danny and Snoopy get their feet wet. (Notice that one of them seems slightly reluctant. Of course I'm not one to talk. Snoopy has now been to my pool more often than I've been to my pool.)








Buddy needs a little convincing. Maybe next year, Buddy. Maybe next year.

I'm such a bad political science major

On Election Day 1996, I officially declared myself as a political science major and boy was I excited. I guess I wanted it be to some sort of symbolic move to submit the paperwork that day.

A decade later, as we approach Election Day 2006, I'm not feeling quite so symbolic. I am, however, a bit more jaded.

It's not that I've lost interest in politics or have stopped following the mud-slinging, gossip, and in-fighting; I love that stuff. I'm just ready for the election to be over. Or, in the alternative, I would accept some form of outrageous scandal or development. Either way is fine with me.

This year I'm just bored. I'm bored by all candidate commercials that say nothing. I'm tired of all the huge signs littering the streets near where I live. I would put up my own big and obnoxious sign up saying "End clutter: Vote out the incumbents" but then I'd just be adding to the mess.

I'm particularly fed up with the candidates who stand with a group of supporters at busy intersections waving to drivers as if they're in touch with the common man. Listen, if they truly believe that their visibility is more important than me getting to work on time, they're probably not the best candidate for me.

Of course every once in a while a candidate will do something that makes me enjoy the election season. Michael Steele has kept things interesting with his little off-the-record or maybe not interview. I also got a little charge when Ben Cardin promised to cure cancer within ten years. (While I too find myself firmly in the anti-cancer camp, I'm thinking Ben might want to leave the disease curing to the experts.) Every once in a while non-entities like Parris Glendenning will throw an endorsement out there to see if someone is watching. (We're not. I only turned to that page to read the second-in-a-series profile on Attorney General candidates.)

I can only hope things get more interesting. I need a big scandal or some hint of impropriety to keep me interested. C'mon guys, you know it's out there. We just don't know about it yet. You want something that an apathetic populace? Make it happen.

We have a history of some wild politics in Maryland. Don't let go so easily. The citizens of the state who gave the nation Spiro Agnew deserve better.

I've got breaking news, people.

This morning I wrote about how glad I was to have all this Hunt Valley nonsense behind me. (See "Check and check, below.) That was until we got the letter today that accompanied our $90 refund check. You may wish to read my entry below first.

Please note that I have posted the letter exactly as written... bad grammar and all. I resisted adding my own comments, thinking it would be better to let Mr. Royston's words speak for themselves.

Here is the letter:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. S*****,

Enclosed is a refund check for $90.00 for the New York trip of June 18, 2006. I don't believe you should expect a refund or even a portion of a refund for your trip to New York on Friday June 16. There was no problem with that trip, so your 40% analogy makes no sense. I understand your frustration over the events of June 18. Contrary to what you may believe, you were not the only passengers who were put out. Fortunately the majority of our customers, both frequent and first time, were more understanding. Of course, standing in New York City, in the heat, it never came to mind what we went through to accommodate and solve this problem. From the moment we were made aware of the situation, at least two people were on the phone trying to find a local motor coach to get you home as fast as possible. We also had a bus leave Hunt Valley immediately, in case we couldn't find help. It happened to be the final round of the U.S. Open golf tournament at Winged Foot in New York, so finding a bus was not easy.

We have contacts all over in the event of a breakdown. What more emergency procedure would you recommend? We found a bus as soon as we could and got it to the location. As far as your "hero" cop is concerned, it was the police who had the bus moved to the overpass and would not allow it to be moved again until another bus arrived. For as many good trips to New York you have made on our buses, it is a shame that you complain so adamantly and judge our service on the "one" bad experience. Perhaps it is a good thing that you have started traveling to New York with someone else. We work hard to keep our buses in the best condition that we can, and to suggest that we are not concerned about you and every customer's business and enjoyable experience is ridiculous. It is only a matter of time before you have a bad experience on another motor coach. I believe that you will find by comparison, we do a great job.
Ed Royston, President
Hunt Valley Motor Coach

So, there you have it. That's how Mr. Royston treats good customers. I'm glad I learned that relatively easily. It would have been a real pain to be stuck on the side of a road in a snowstorm. Darn, there I go thinking about myself again.

Check and check

Finally the Hunt Valley Motor Coach saga comes to a close. The Consumer Protection Division in the Attorney General's Office came through for us. Thanks to our dedicated and tenacious volunteer mediator, we should be receiving a check for $90 in the mail today.

A brief recap for those of you who haven't been following our bus drama: On the way back from New York City several weeks ago, the Hunt Valley bus caught fire and left us stranded for hours on an overpass somewhere in New Jersey. The bus company was less than accommodating when we asked for compensation, offering a mere $20 per person for our trouble.

When our two letters to the company's owner went unanswered, we filed a complaint with the AG's office for mediation. A mediator began working on the case yesterday morning and within an hour, had a faxed copy of a check made out to us in his hands.

I'm glad Hunt Valley agreed to mediate with the AG's office and obviously I'm pleased they decided to refund us the $90 we requested, but I don't know how soon we'll travel aboard Hunt Valley in the future. Rich has an upcoming jaunt to Atlantic City where he will be taking Superior Tours and I think we're going to give Gunther a try as well. We took Golden Ring last time around.

So what lessons can we learn from this experience? First, if you run a business, respond to your customers' concerns, especially if they're good customers. Had Hunt Valley refunded our money up-front, we could have avoided all of this hostility and probably booked another trip without thinking. Now, who knows?

Next, the mediators in the Consumer Protection Division may just be volunteers, but they're still dedicated public servants who really give a damn.

And finally, the most important lesson of all -- Don't piss me off. (But you already knew that.)