This is what I'm talking about

It's finally happened. The election is finally getting interesting. And it's all thanks to Michael Steele's puppy commercials.

Before I go any further, please read these important disclaimers:
1. I'm a sucker for anything with puppies, and
2. This evaluation is simply my personal assessment and should not be construed as an endorsement of either Michael Steele or Ben Cardin. (I actually can't relate to either of them.)

That said, if the senatorial race was based on originality alone, Steele would be the clear winner. Think about some of the ads you've seen on TV lately. They're all pretty much the same. You can insert Mr. Interchangeable Generic Candidate into any of them and not really notice a difference.

The following quotations come from the websites of the two candidates for governor.

"We need to focus on giving students, teachers and parents the resources they need to succeed."

"Maryland needs to share information at all levels -- federal, state and local -- to prevent disaster before it can claim more lives. We need to look to the future, with comprehensive plans, statewide drills, and interoperable communications technology, in order to protect our people and communities."

"[M]y campaign will continue to use this overwhelming expression of support to further my vision for better schools, safer neighborhoods and a healthier environment."

"Maryland must be an economic center based on first-rate education, technology, manufacturing and entrepreneurship."

Okay now tell me which quotations go with which candidate. (No Googling allowed.) Yeah, I can't do it either. Seriously... you would expect to hear any of those comments coming from either of the two candidates.

And that's why this ad campaign is different and whoever came up with it should be feeling pretty good right about now. Did you know who Michael Steele was five years ago? Do you know who he is now? Exactly.

Aside from attacting nationwide attention to the race, it's also forcing Cardin to respond. To Cardin's credit, he's done an impressive job of responding. He turned Steele's clever ad into a discussion of the issues. He reminds voters that while Steele likes puppies, he loves President Bush. For most Marylanders, that thought is far more terrifying than Steele's "scary music" any day.

Still, Steele has people talking. Even if they're not all fans of the puppy ads, people are talking about these commercials. A few crazies are calling Steele out for using a dog that wasn't his own in the ad. (Steele has a cute Husky, for those of you keeping track.) Others insist that Steele is using the commercial as a diversion from the real issues. Either way, he's getting attention and name recognition and that's the lifeblood of politics.

So thank you to the ad wizards who are making what could be an otherwise bland race a little more exciting. The voting public (or at least this member of the voting public) thanks you bunches.

Oh yeah... no offense to the inexcusable glitches preventing people from voting in the primary election. I found that really interesting too. It's just that like most Americans, TV tends to keep me interested longer that oh, say, things like constitutional rights. (Really, I'm kidding. Maybe.)

I'm still laughing

I got the below picture in an e-mail from my college roommate and it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. For those of you unfamiliar with good old St. Mary's County (home of St. Mary's College of Maryland), Rose's Place II is a redneck strip club frequented by townies and the occasional drunk college student. I don't know if this photo was staged or what but I don't really care.

The best day of the year

Regular readers of this blog (yes, both of you) are probably expecting to find some sort of Election Day wrap-up here today. Perhaps you're looking for some comments on the Willie Don's defeat or some insight into the voting snafus we've come to know and grudgingly expect? Well sorry. Not here. Not today.

There was another event that managed to steal my attention away from poll results yesterday. It's a little something called the Baltimore County Humane Society's Doggie Paddle. It's an annual fundraiser held at the pool by my house and it's the canine event of the year.

Buddy (the 120-lb. beast of a lab pictured above) and Snoopy (who's the one who really wears the pants in that relationship) were both very brave considering neither has ever been swimming before. (I did attend the event last year with Buddy but because he'd recently had stitches, there were no aquatic activities for him.)

Neither dog was overly thrilled at the site of the adult pool but they warmed up a little after getting their sea legs in the kiddie pool. Unfortunately once out near the adult pool, Buddy and Snoopy had to remain leashed. (One of them, and I'm not naming labs, oops, I mean names, found his way to the refreshments table and almost had himself a nice pizza dinner.)

Words cannot possibly convey the colloquy of cuteness witnessed yesterday. I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves. All together now... Aawwwwww!

This is a random cockapoo that I thought was just too adorable not to include. Like Bud and Snoop, he wasn't entirely sure what to make of the water-laced outing.







A group of dogs showing Snoopy and Buddy how it's done.







Danny and Snoopy get their feet wet. (Notice that one of them seems slightly reluctant. Of course I'm not one to talk. Snoopy has now been to my pool more often than I've been to my pool.)








Buddy needs a little convincing. Maybe next year, Buddy. Maybe next year.

I'm such a bad political science major

On Election Day 1996, I officially declared myself as a political science major and boy was I excited. I guess I wanted it be to some sort of symbolic move to submit the paperwork that day.

A decade later, as we approach Election Day 2006, I'm not feeling quite so symbolic. I am, however, a bit more jaded.

It's not that I've lost interest in politics or have stopped following the mud-slinging, gossip, and in-fighting; I love that stuff. I'm just ready for the election to be over. Or, in the alternative, I would accept some form of outrageous scandal or development. Either way is fine with me.

This year I'm just bored. I'm bored by all candidate commercials that say nothing. I'm tired of all the huge signs littering the streets near where I live. I would put up my own big and obnoxious sign up saying "End clutter: Vote out the incumbents" but then I'd just be adding to the mess.

I'm particularly fed up with the candidates who stand with a group of supporters at busy intersections waving to drivers as if they're in touch with the common man. Listen, if they truly believe that their visibility is more important than me getting to work on time, they're probably not the best candidate for me.

Of course every once in a while a candidate will do something that makes me enjoy the election season. Michael Steele has kept things interesting with his little off-the-record or maybe not interview. I also got a little charge when Ben Cardin promised to cure cancer within ten years. (While I too find myself firmly in the anti-cancer camp, I'm thinking Ben might want to leave the disease curing to the experts.) Every once in a while non-entities like Parris Glendenning will throw an endorsement out there to see if someone is watching. (We're not. I only turned to that page to read the second-in-a-series profile on Attorney General candidates.)

I can only hope things get more interesting. I need a big scandal or some hint of impropriety to keep me interested. C'mon guys, you know it's out there. We just don't know about it yet. You want something that an apathetic populace? Make it happen.

We have a history of some wild politics in Maryland. Don't let go so easily. The citizens of the state who gave the nation Spiro Agnew deserve better.

I've got breaking news, people.

This morning I wrote about how glad I was to have all this Hunt Valley nonsense behind me. (See "Check and check, below.) That was until we got the letter today that accompanied our $90 refund check. You may wish to read my entry below first.

Please note that I have posted the letter exactly as written... bad grammar and all. I resisted adding my own comments, thinking it would be better to let Mr. Royston's words speak for themselves.

Here is the letter:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. S*****,

Enclosed is a refund check for $90.00 for the New York trip of June 18, 2006. I don't believe you should expect a refund or even a portion of a refund for your trip to New York on Friday June 16. There was no problem with that trip, so your 40% analogy makes no sense. I understand your frustration over the events of June 18. Contrary to what you may believe, you were not the only passengers who were put out. Fortunately the majority of our customers, both frequent and first time, were more understanding. Of course, standing in New York City, in the heat, it never came to mind what we went through to accommodate and solve this problem. From the moment we were made aware of the situation, at least two people were on the phone trying to find a local motor coach to get you home as fast as possible. We also had a bus leave Hunt Valley immediately, in case we couldn't find help. It happened to be the final round of the U.S. Open golf tournament at Winged Foot in New York, so finding a bus was not easy.

We have contacts all over in the event of a breakdown. What more emergency procedure would you recommend? We found a bus as soon as we could and got it to the location. As far as your "hero" cop is concerned, it was the police who had the bus moved to the overpass and would not allow it to be moved again until another bus arrived. For as many good trips to New York you have made on our buses, it is a shame that you complain so adamantly and judge our service on the "one" bad experience. Perhaps it is a good thing that you have started traveling to New York with someone else. We work hard to keep our buses in the best condition that we can, and to suggest that we are not concerned about you and every customer's business and enjoyable experience is ridiculous. It is only a matter of time before you have a bad experience on another motor coach. I believe that you will find by comparison, we do a great job.
Ed Royston, President
Hunt Valley Motor Coach

So, there you have it. That's how Mr. Royston treats good customers. I'm glad I learned that relatively easily. It would have been a real pain to be stuck on the side of a road in a snowstorm. Darn, there I go thinking about myself again.

Check and check

Finally the Hunt Valley Motor Coach saga comes to a close. The Consumer Protection Division in the Attorney General's Office came through for us. Thanks to our dedicated and tenacious volunteer mediator, we should be receiving a check for $90 in the mail today.

A brief recap for those of you who haven't been following our bus drama: On the way back from New York City several weeks ago, the Hunt Valley bus caught fire and left us stranded for hours on an overpass somewhere in New Jersey. The bus company was less than accommodating when we asked for compensation, offering a mere $20 per person for our trouble.

When our two letters to the company's owner went unanswered, we filed a complaint with the AG's office for mediation. A mediator began working on the case yesterday morning and within an hour, had a faxed copy of a check made out to us in his hands.

I'm glad Hunt Valley agreed to mediate with the AG's office and obviously I'm pleased they decided to refund us the $90 we requested, but I don't know how soon we'll travel aboard Hunt Valley in the future. Rich has an upcoming jaunt to Atlantic City where he will be taking Superior Tours and I think we're going to give Gunther a try as well. We took Golden Ring last time around.

So what lessons can we learn from this experience? First, if you run a business, respond to your customers' concerns, especially if they're good customers. Had Hunt Valley refunded our money up-front, we could have avoided all of this hostility and probably booked another trip without thinking. Now, who knows?

Next, the mediators in the Consumer Protection Division may just be volunteers, but they're still dedicated public servants who really give a damn.

And finally, the most important lesson of all -- Don't piss me off. (But you already knew that.)

A medley of updates

I have all kinds of things to write about but nothing really warrants its own posting. As such, please enjoy the following "where are they now" edition of my blog.

*First, we celebrated Rich's birthday last week. Above you'll see the picture I commissioned for his gift. (Yes, that's supposed to be us sitting there on the Simpsons' couch.) Former show animator Gary Yap is responsible for the amazing work of art you see. Other highlights of Rich's birthday week included dinner and a show at Toby's Dinner Theatre, an overnight trip to Atlantic City, and a show at the Kennedy Center.

*Next, I need to update you all on my furniture situation. All is well in bureau land. I have my new bureau, as discussed in my last entry, and I have to say that I couldn't be happier with it. It's quite the sturdy piece of furniture (yay for dovetail joints!) and matches Rich's dresser very well. My brothers were kind enough to carry it up three flights of stairs to our bedroom.

Due to the success of my search, I have found that I am slowly breaking my Craigslist addiction. I have, however, managed to pass this addiction onto other people. My husband is fervently searching for an armoire to help solve our lack-of-closet-space problem on the first floor. We wish him well in his endeavor and I promise to lend my assistance and know-how as necessary.

*Many people have been asking about where things stand with Hunt Valley Motor Coach. Unfortunately I really don't have much of an update. The company's owner has chosen to ignore our letter. Because of this, I will be sending a follow-up letter and also filing a complaint with the Maryland Attorney General's Consumer Protection Division. Thankfully we've identified other local bus companies that will fulfill our travel needs.

*I would be remiss if I didn't mention some exciting news I learned this week. I talk a lot about the Artful Gourmet Bistro, one of my favorite restaurants, but it seems like other people will soon be talking about it too. ESPN will be profiling NFL players and their favorite restaurants. Ravens safety Ed Reed apparently shares my taste in food because he's selected the bistro as his favorite place to dine. So congratulations to restaurant owners Paolo and Julie. You deserve this kind of publicity. But if it makes it hard for us to get a table, I'm going to be pretty pissed.

*In closing, I want to wish my grandfather a very happy birthday. He celebrates #91 tomorrow and I hope he and my grandmother enjoy a wonderful day. Considering the family tendency towards celebratory cake, I believe all will be well. Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Will you be my bureau?

Weird and quirky obsessions are nothing new for me. After all, I did have a subscription to the Limbaugh Letter at one point in time. But in the past few weeks I've developed a somewhat new addiction and I just can't seem to shake it. I'm addicted to Craigslist.com, particularly the furniture for sale section.

I am on the search for the perfect dresser.

It all started when my brothers were looking for stuff for their house, otherwise known as the dorm room that threw up. I kept finding things I like (and therefore, think they should like) and I e-mailed them the listings. Now that I'm looking for a new dresser for our bedroom I check the stupid thing a thousand times a day.

It's gotten so bad that I don't just limit myself to the Baltimore Craigslist. No, now when I'm checking for new listings, I'm looking at the ones for D.C., Lancaster, Harrisburg, and Delaware. When Craigslist can't fulfill my addiction, I turn to Postaroo.com. It's a sickness.

My husband has been as patient as he can with my quest. He patiently looks at all of the pictures I e-mail him, and then reminds me that no, Northern Virginia isn't really that close and didn't I want to spend less than that anyway?

So let's talk dressers -- or more accurately, chests of drawers. You see, in this search I've learned that chest of drawers is the appropriate term for the tall, narrow piece of furniture I desire. The term dresser is better reserved for the shorter, longer pieces of bedroom delight. Bureau, I believe, can be applied to either.

Anyway, I want something older and of good quality. It needs to match the French Country dresser/mirror that we already have in our bedroom. And it needs to be cheap. Let me repeat that. It needs to be cheap.

I've checked antique stores, sought out furniture auctions, and browsed my grandparents' basement. But no luck.

Througout this process I'm learning words like dovetail joints and highboy. I know to avoid any posting that includes works like Malm or Aspelund other dreaded Ikea styles. (Please note that I'm not anti-Ikea. It serves a good place in life and I even own a few Ikea pieces that I like, including a great shelving unit in my den. I'm just ready to move beyond the world of assemble-it-yourself laminate and have something made a real wood.)

And it's finally possible that my search is coming to an end. Today I located a nice looking chest of drawers near the Maryland-Delaware line. If all goes well, I'll have it in my house this weekend. (It could take another several weeks to actually move it up to our fourth floor bedroom.)

I shouldn't get too excited yet. I've been here before. Two weeks ago I loved and lost. I thought I found the perfect piece, only to find that someone else grabbed it first. I hope he and his new dresser are happy because frankly, I'm still hurting.

Once I finally have my beloved dresser, I suppose I will have to turn to a new hobby to round out my obsessive compulsive, anal retentive, perfectionist-type personality. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Otherwise I'll be forced to shop for furniture for you. Just ask my brothers.

It's up to you Hunt Valley, Hunt Valley

Let me begin by saying that we had an absolutely wonderful time in New York City last weekend. It was just the ride back that wasn't quite so nice.

As brilliantly depicted, at left, in an original Uncle Louis rendition, um, well, the Hunt Valley Motor Coach tour bus we were riding caught fire.

It happened soon after we pulled out of the Lincoln Tunnel, heading home. A bunch of drivers around us starting honking and pointing at the underside of the bus. The driver pulled over by the first off-ramp and said everybody had to get off because the bus was on fire. We could smell the smoke.

This is where the fun started. We were towards the back of the bus and a bunch of people ahead of us starting making a big deal about getting all of their shopping bags out. So we're standing there, the bus on fire, while a few women tried to get their Macy's bags together. I eventually convinced them to move their asses.

(There was one guy, by the way, who refused to get off the bus. He sat there until the police made him get off.)

So we stood on the side of the road while the fire department put out the fire. Then they loaded us back onto the bus and towed us to an overpass where we waited in the hot sun for another two hours until they could get another bus for us. One of the Secaucus police officers was kind enough to buy a case of water for the parched passengers. We eventually made it home sometime after 1 a.m.

But perhaps more upsetting than the actual incident is Hunt Valley's poor customer service in dealing with it. In short, they were nonplussed, offering a mere $20 in compensation per passenger. They acted as if it happens all the time.

Only a few days later did I learn that, apparently, it does happen all of the time. Three days after our trip, another illustrious piece of the Hunt Valley fleet, this one leaving St. Louis, caught fire.

My phone calls to Hunt Valley have gone unreturned and a letter is on its way to the bus company's owner. Being the frequent customers that we are, you'd think they'd want us to be happy.

So what will Hunt Valley do? Will the company do the right thing and offer each person a free trip? Will they pay back the kind police officer who bought us bottled water? Time will tell. And when it does, I'll tell you too.

A dollar here, a caffeine pill there

In a little more than three weeks, I, along with my family and friends, will stay up and walk all night in an effort to raise money for the American Cancer Society. For my sleep apnea-ridden self, it should be quite interesting to see how awake I manage to stay.

I've never actually pulled an all-nighter, not even in college. I stayed up late many Sunday nights as we tried to meet our deadline for the college newspaper, but I never made it the whole entire night.

So in preparation for Relay for Life, I've got the caffeine pills and Diet Coke all ready to go. I do, however, need something else -- specifically, a few more donations. See I'm not just doing this walk for the free pizza at midnight.

I'm doing this to raise as much money as possible for cancer research. Is this a little selfish of me? Sure. As a two-time cancer survivor, I have a vested interest in making sure that cancer research and other important program are well-financed. But I'm not the only one who will benefit from the fundraising so I suppose I can consider myself slightly benevolent. Slightly.

My team, the Semicolons, has done an awesome job of fundraising so far. As of this moment, we've raised a total of $4,137.40. Pretty impressive, don't you think? But we still have a few weeks left and we might as well raise more money.

So, you want to donate? Great! That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Luckily for you, making a donation is incredibly easy. Just click here and enter my name. You can make a donation right there online using your credit card.

If you're not so comfortable with online stuff, you can make a check out to the American Cancer Society and mail it to me. I'll make sure it gets turned in by the May 31 deadline.

To all of you who have already donated, I thank you very much. Your contributions will help those who weren't as lucky as I was.

And now, as I get ready for the night of June 10-11, I think I will go take a nap. I'm going to need all the sleep I can get in preparation for the big all-nighter.